2.5 Years Later...

As expected, I created a blog, made a few posts, and then abandoned it. Shame on me. Instead of trying to revive this thing, I'll just point you to my new web space here:

http://www.bryanray.name/wordpress

For the moment, that's my art school gallery blog. So if you're at all interested in me that's where you'll find me. There won't be any Deep Thoughts there, probably, but there will be artwork, and that's fun, too.

"...sloth is impervious to opportunity."
--Dean Koontz

It is Christmas Eve (or it was when I started this post), and I am here at work watching a very sappy made-for-TV Christmas movie. It has me thinking about my marriage. (Although the very notion that I have a marriage at all is still a little unsettling.) Over the years, I have watched any number of marriages dissolve; some of them were marriages that an outsider would have thought were very solid. As far as I know, all of them were destroyed by adultery. I am right now wondering, again, if anything sets me apart from all of those foolish people who have broken their oaths and thrown away what they once thought was the best thing that had ever happened to them.

The popular statistic that gets thrown around is that fifty per cent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. That statistic is a scare tactic. Consider, it also means that fifty per cent do not end in divorce. In addition, a fair number of divorced people eventually remarry, and the chances of a second marriage failing is much higher than a first. Those divorces add to that fifty per cent. I think it would be more useful to know how many people get divorced rather than counting the divorces themselves.

So, given that adjustment, I can safely say that there is a better than fifty per cent chance that my marriage will last. In addition, I have a further advantage, since a person's marriage often reflects their* parents' marriages. My parents are still together and are not in any danger of separating. As for Jessica's parents, there are issues there, I must admit. I cannot take responsibility for her actions, although I can work to mitigate whatever difficulties may be presaged by her background.

There remains the threat of adultery as the most common cause of divorce. I can certainly understand how things happen. I do not say that to make any excuses for those who have failed. Rather, I think that it is important to recognize that I am not immune to temptation, and through recognizing it, I can take steps to prevent myself from falling victim to my own impulses.

The first and most important step, I think, is to limit my opportunities to be so tempted. If that means that I must be deliberately cool toward women that I work or am otherwise associated with, then that is what I shall do. Gathering a reputation as a hermit is a small price to pay for ensuring a happy life with my wife.


*Crusading for the use of "their" as a gender-neutral singular pronoun. We use it that way, anyway; it might as well make it into the dictionaries.

What makes an oath binding?

My mother forwarded to me a petition being circulated by the American Family Association. Included was a link to this article. She asked for my opinion about it, and I gave her the short version. I have been thinking about it for a little while now, and I believe that I have a bit more to say. I will not do Mr. Prager the disservice of simply picking at his article. Instead, I would like to simply share my thoughts on the matter.

Why is it that our congressmen swear on the Bible as a part of taking office? The Constitution of the United States reads thusly: "The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the members of the several state legislatures, and all executive and judicial officers, both of the United States and of the several states, shall be bound by oath or affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States." The oath sworn is this: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God. " Nowhere in the text of the Constitution is there any requirement to use a Bible in the oath.

It is common to swear by something that is regarded as holy by the oath-giver. Breaking the oath is equivalent to renouncing belief in that object and that which it represents. Since Christians believe that the Bible is the Word of God (although there is much disagreement about what that entails), it is considered an appropriately holy thing to swear by. At the time that the United States was founded, most of its citizens were Christians, and most, if not all, of the Senators and Representatives in Congress were Christians. That is, almost everyone in the nation believed that the Bible was a holy object. Such is no longer the case.

Keith Ellison is a Muslim. Although only .5% of Americans claim Islam as their faith (adherents.org), that is still well over one million people, and the number is rising fast. Furthermore, according to those same statistics, only 76.5% still claim to be Christians. While 76.5% seems like quite a few, that still leaves 23.5% of Americans who are not Christians, and who therefore do not believe that the Bible is the Word of God.

So, if 23.5% of Americans do not believe that the Bible is the Word of God, what does it mean, to them, that politicians swear on it? Absolutely nothing; they have no regard for the Bible, nor for God, nor for any politician's personal beliefs. If a politician does not believe that the Bible is the Word of God, what does it mean to him or her to swear on it? Nothing. Thus, in the eyes of 23.5% of the population, the oath means nothing. Worse still, those politicians who do not believe are swearing an oath that they think means nothing! I cannot think that it is auspicious to begin a term of public service by pretending to swear an oath. It would, rather, be better for them to swear by something that they do believe in, so as to more firmly hold them to their oaths.

There does remain the issue of the supernatural component of an oath sworn on the Bible or any other holy thing. Are there consequences for breaking an oath to God? Honestly, I do not know. My personal belief is that God will treat people based on what is in their heart (1 Samuel 16:7); Christians should beware what they swear by (Matthew 5:33-37), but unbelievers are already damned, so what further harm can a broken oath do?

Speaking of Matthew 5, Jesus commands Christians not to swear oaths at all. It is ironic that we swear by the very book that tells us not to swear at all. Shall we multiply that error by forcing those who do not even believe in the sanctity of that book to swear by it?

A bit of fiction for you

Calas' hand cramped painfully. His bony fingers curled, shook, and the pen tumbled from his grasp. He glared furiously at the pen, massaging his right hand with his left, then turned his eye upon the manuscript. The sight of his neat, elegant lettering eased his frustration a bit. The page was perfect, if incomplete; its lines were straight and even, and every jot was placed with exacting care. The book was nearly finished. Twenty-six pages had been copied. Only three more remained. Calas relaxed his weather-beaten face deliberately as the pain in his hands faded. He rolled his shoulders and rotated his head to loosen tight muscles, then he looked up toward the windows. The light flowing through the waxed-cloth covering was long upon the floor, meaning that there was, perhaps, an hour of good light remaining in the scriptorium. Calas could easily finish the last two lines before the light faded, but the cramp was a signal he had learned to regard. If he ignored the warning he would be worthless in the morning.

Calas carefully cleaned the nib of his pen, capped his inkwell, and returned the supplies to their case. Then he removed the finished pages from their folder and began to read. "Cusip na melin, e'en na felarin. Re tanen eta carde'en stare melea avar." Calas' smile deepened his wrinkles. "Lord of light, master of heaven. Be you exalted above every good thing." The hymn's ancient syllables rang of the scriptorium's dressed stone walls and sent a chill through the scribe's body. He continued to read until the light failed, then carefully returned the sheaf to the folder.

I Used to Admire...

I used to admire other people. I admired Josh Stephens for his self-effacing honesty; he is the only person I know who will tell the truth when it makes him look bad. I wish I were more like Josh.

I admired Ryan Darrow because he was bold and daring, and yet not a buffoon. Ryan is the dynamic sort of person that everyone pays attention to when he is in the room. I wish I were more like Ryan.

I admired my father, later than I should have but much sooner than many others do, for the simple and practical wisdom he offered me. Pay yourself first. Marry your best friend. I wish I had done better with the former, but I am proud of myself for doing the latter.

I was taking stock of myself today, though, and I realized that I do not admire people any more. For some reason, I seem to think of myself as superior to most of the people I am around. I am critical of others' work. How did I get here? I feel more confident in my abilities, but that does not mean that I am better than everyone else. Or anyone else, for that matter.

People used to praise me for my humility, which, of course, was a mistake. How on earth can a person be proud of being humble? A paradox I have yet to unravel. Of course, I do not have to struggle with it any more, because I am no longer humble. I wish I were more like I used to be. Maybe that humility was just an illusion, though; the empty mouthings of the self-righteous.

Something I read today led me to this state of mind. I was reading someone else's blog (which is something I rarely do), and I remembered how much I admire him.

I admire Seth Ben-Ezra (http://greatwolf.blogpeoria.com/) for his poetic way of expressing himself. Seth reminds me of another friend I admired once: Paul Brimmer. I haven't really spoken with Paul in years.

Seth is a very gifted writer. He has recently self-published a role-playing book at lulu.com, Legends of Alyria, and I applaud him for it. Add it to the long list of books I have good intentions to buy.

I miss admiring people. I want to recapture that sense of awe I used to have, but I do not know how. I suppose I should look for the good in everyone. It sounds like something from an advice column written by Grover. Sesame Street wisdom.

Why Trendy?

Blogs are trendy. I am not trendy. So why am I writing a blog?

Heck if I know.

Jessica says I need to write because I'm good at it. I've been told, by people who seem like they ought to know, that in order to get better at writing you have to do a little bit of it every day. Maybe blogging will help me to write on a regular basis. Probably not, but it's worth a try.